He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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