They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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