it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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