new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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