wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
