Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize