I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize