his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
