I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
