oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
