it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You can't special order awesome
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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