Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize