I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
