Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
