We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
