Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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