She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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