i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize