are you so shy because you have an std?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
