I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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