Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize