took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you win again, gameday.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
