just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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