I am in a vortex of obligation.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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