perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
