drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize