The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
