sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
