Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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