i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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