Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize