I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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