we're chasing vodka with high fives
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
