You're earring is so big in my mouth
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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