I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
