If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize