My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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