Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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