I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
