Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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