We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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