So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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