That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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