Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
