I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize