roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
