i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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