at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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