I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Im part way to drunk.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
