it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
