I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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