He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
