Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
