all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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