just come out here and I will go home with you...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
