btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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