Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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