Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
