i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
