At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize