Where did you get a picture of my penis
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
