She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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