If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
