She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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