at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
